The only NRL club outside of Australia have had quite the chequered history when it comes to jerseys, from the wicker basket effect, the Maori jade overkill, the green paint splatter, the pink paint splatter, the pink lady face, the New Zealand flag, the-whatever-the-fuck-this-is, and THE FUCKING VOLCANO! Just look at it! It’s quite a resume…
Most alarming of all is that all if these monstrosities were created by one of our favourite brands Canterbury. Granted, most were alternate or training kits and so we can grudgingly forgive them for having a bit of fun, while by contrast the standard black (or old-school blue) home jerseys have ranged from gorgeous to a bit dull.
This year’s offering is definitely in the former. The black is cut into by lovely, curved white and red chevrons, which update the classic league symbol. The curves continue over the shoulders where they’re intersected by red trim and finish just at the shoulder blades, framing the back of the jersey perfectly.
The look is improved by the good ol’ Vodafone logo, and it all comes together to create the perfect balance of team, sponsor and league badges on the chest. The extra flashes of red from the sleeve logos don’t ruin anything, while everything is finished off splendidly by that red trim on the arms, sides and collar. Very rarely do we see such a pretty rugby league shirt.
The away shirt, a simple swap of black and white unsurprisingly works just as well, if lacking the ‘slimming’ effect black seems to have on the eye – look we’re not Trinny and Whatshername, we just know that’s a thing – that’s why we mainly wear black t-shirts…
Fans can also pick up a blue ‘heritage’ jersey. Sides in round 5 of this year’s competition wore these odes to older club designs, though being as they were away to the light blue Sharks, the Warriors decided to wear their normal away white. It’s a shame as the blue is also a winner. The Vodafone logo moves up a little bit higher, cutting off the chevron.
This usually annoys us, but due to the even more curved design it no longer looks like a chevron, with the double green and red waves of the jersey look far more appealing, separating the white top and the main body of royal blue, with what seems to be the names of every player to have donned the Warriors jersey since their inception – we’re not sure, but that’s what the Roosters did on their sailor-striped alternative jersey. Again the red trim holds everything together.
Which leads us to a jersey they have worn this season (at the Auckland 9s tournament, and in some regular season games), where the Canterbury team have again been deprived of sleep, mainlined Pro Plus and energy drink, and told to let their ‘inner-child’ run free: the ‘high-voltage’ blue alternative jersey. Illuminated white curves and flashes emit from a base of dark blue and black with the Warriors’ Maori head emerging from the bottom, like the head of Frankenstein’s monster after the electrical surge.
Again the trim and placement of badges give the jersey a balanced look, but frankly the concept and execution are about as appealing as an 10,000V shock to the happy sack. At least they haven’t gone for the green ‘training’ option that resembles a Saturday night city centre vomit caused by too many alcopops and Jagerbombs. Hideous.
SHIT/GOOD RATING: Half very good, half UTTER SHIT
Rugby Shirt Watch 
I think that the whatever-the-fuck-this is should be renamed thee R2-D2. Or the Stormtrooper.