Scotland Rugby 2013/14 Macron Alternate Shirt

Earlier this week, we looked at the 2013 Scotland home shirt from Macron. To be honest, it was quite hard to do our usual pisstakery with a shirt that was quite that uncompromisingly nice, classic and inoffensive. So we just took the piss out of how Scotland were shit at rugby instead, because dammit, we WILL make the jokes. Thankfully, the Scots away shirt provides us with no such handicaps…

scoaway

Just look at the damn thing! Sweet Jesus…

You might remember that the home shirt was designed, rather fantastically well, by Scotland fan Stuart Gray. Well, if this is the evidence of what happens when Macron lets its own designers have at it, they might be better off letting ol’ Stu have a crack at all the kits every year.

scoaway2

Where do you start with this dog’s dinner? We guess that there’s only one place. In our post about the home kit, we bemoaned people who take issue with national flags on rugby shirts. To those people, we’d like to offer a limited apology – you’re still wrong, but there are times when it’s downright offensive…

Just look at the way they’ve slapped the flag on the left shoulder like that – there’s no aesthetic concern there, it’s just been thrown on there as if they suddenly realised they were designing a rugby shirt for the Scottish rugby team, and not a polo shirt for a lad’s golf weekend in the Algarve. Even THIS piece of shit had a certain Saltire-y madness to it that we quite appreciated – we’d take it in a heartbeat over this piece of crap.

Scoaway3

It’s funny, in this shirt, almost everything that was done right with the home shirt has been done wrong here. We delighted in the simplicity of colour palette used in the home shirt – just dark blue and white. Simple, classy, lovely. Here, we can count at least three different shades of blue used between the shirt, the sponsor logo and the badge – to our mind that’s either laziness or madness, we can’t tell which.

And then there’s the side stripes, which are bloody purple. The Scots have dabbled with purple from time to time, and it always look utterly shit, and here it just serves to make a cluttered, messy, unfocussed kit look even more like a dogs dinner.

The really depressing thing here, is that unlike other away kits we’ll see this autumn, this isn’t a one-and-done shirt to use against a Southern Hemisphere team at home. Scotland have to wear their away colours in the SIX NATIONS against Italy this year, so this shirt will be stinking up the place well into the new year.

The only nice thing we can say about this shirt, is that at least it’s not the fucking sevens top. Christ.

SHIT/GOOD RATING: SHIT

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